It's my Fault the Colts lost the Game today

I wasn't on the field.  I am not the coach, assistant coach or the team manager.  I wasn't even in charge of bringing the post-game Gatorade.  So how did I blow it for the team?

Joe asked me to buy him an athletic cup to protect his delicate parts.  I went to Academy Sports and stared at the athletic protective cup offerings.  The LARGE youth protective cup was $5.99.  There was a protective cup with underwear for $9.99.  My reasoning on buying the cup without the special underwear was that Joe has lots of underwear.  I am a girl.  I only had sisters.  I think Bob must have taken care of Jeff's and John's protective needs.  I claim stupidity as my defense.

Joe wore his cup to the game today for the first time.  I sat there semi-watching the game and doing my sudoku puzzle at the same time.  So I really wasn't noticing that Joe wasn't making his blocks or his tackles.  At half time I heard the coaches reprimanding Joe for not doing his jobs.  I put the sudoku down and started noticing during the second half that he was playing football like he had never played the game before.  The coaches were correcting and encouraging him and at times got down right aggravated that he was doing nothing out there.   I couldn't figure out what his problem was.  Then within a 15 second time period I noticed that he had groped at his private parts twice, like Michael Jackson at a pop concert.  I knew what his problem was at that point.  His protective cup had been slipping during the entire game.  His head wasn't in the game because he was concentrating on his manhood problem.  Bob later told me that the underwear that comes with the cup has a special pocket to keep the cup in place during play.  How clever!

There were only about 4 or 5 minutes left of play.  I went down to the field and told the team manager about the problem. He thanked me for noticing with only a few minutes of play left.  He is actually a great guy and at a timeout asked Joe to remove his cup.  Joe stuck his hand down his pants and removed the offending article.  Bill put it in his pocket and then gave it to me.  Joe finally could concentrate on the game!  At least the other team didn't score another touchdown.  The Colts lost 21-0.

On the drive home Joe told me that he had to constantly adjust that darn cup .  One of his team mates told him to stop it because he was Freaking him out.  Of course he couldn't stop adjusting, with his cup trying to slide down his leg.

Now I am going to have to go back to Academy.  I think the special underwear is $5.99.  Had I bought it at the time I bought the cup I would have saved $3.00 and the Colts might have won the game today, but I wouldn't have this funny little story to post.