Tracy Fisher Remembered

It is hard to believe what can happen in the space of a few days.  John called me last Monday from Annapolis and he was very upset.  He had just found out that Tracy Fisher had died that morning while walking to class at the University of Missouri in Columbus.  She was the picture of health, but she died of a pulmonary embolism.  To add to the sadness of the event, the next day was to be her 19th birthday. 

John and Tracy had dated a few times a couple of years ago but the romance factor fizzled quickly for normal teenage reasons.  They ended up being great friends.  They both sang in the RHS choir.  John has always considered Tracy to be one of his best friends.

Over the last few days I have crossed paths with a lot of people who have known Tracy.  I kept hearing a reccurring theme.  Almost all of the kids she knew considered her to be one of their best freinds.  I started thinking about all of the groups she was involved with.  There was choir, theatre, The Talon Newspaper, and her synagogue.  I know she had more associations than this but just assuming there were an average of 100 kids in each of these groups she easily had 400 best freinds.  It is easy to see why Tracy had so many best friends.  It is because she had a generous spirit.  You knew that Tracy liked you.  She didn't make you guess.  If you ever crossed her path at Target or the grocery store or even in th hall ways at school she would acknowlege you.  She would always acknowlege me and I am, well, lets just say, I am a little older than Tracy.  Very few teenagers feel confident enough to run half way across Costco to give a hug to one of her 400 best freinds' mother who was sitting at a table eating pizza at the food court, but that was Tracy. 

There was an amazing turn out at her funeral service.  I loved her brother's rememberances of Tracy.  That had to be a tough, but he did a great job.  I waited in line for half an hour to sign the guest book.  I saw teachers, friends from all of her different activities, her freinds from her synagogue, her parent's freinds, and her freind's parents

How could a healthy young woman die so suddenly?  I think her brother gave a pretty good explanation at the funeral.  It was a matter of biology.  I remember when I was in my twenties I had started taking a new medication and the doctor was describing some of the rare side effects, which included death.  I remember laughing a little at this and the doctor, who was about 50, reprimanding me for my cavalier attitude.  So I pretended to take him seriously for the rest of the dire lecture of everything that could go wrong but probably wouldn't.  Now that I have lived a little longer and have experienced a few lightning strikes I understand  why the doctor was upset with me.  You just don't know when you will be the one in 1000.  You just don't know when someone's time is up.  After having a personal experience of loosing my son Matthew I realized that I wanted all of my relationships to be at a point that I would have no regrets if an unexpected death occurs.  This is kind of a weird attitude, I know, but I am shaped by my experiences.

For now, I am going to take a page from Tracy's book.  The picture at the top of this post was when Tracy showed up for John's Eagle Court of Honor.  I think we can show up for our freinds events.  I think we can cross the room to greet our freinds.  I think we can let others know that we really like them, like how Tracy let everyone of us know that we were among her best freinds.