Wednesday, September 10, 2008

What I Would Do For Free Movie Tickets

I had the TV on the other day and was watching Good Morning Texas. A segment came on about the Sisters of Savings. This is a group of African-American women who find great deals and share them with the rest of us. So they had a great bargain this time. All you have to do is go into American Eagle and try on a pair of jeans and you get a free movie ticket to AMC. If you buy a pair of jeans you get 2 tickets. I went to Valley View Mall and tried on a pair. The first problem was really evident. "Don't you have any jeans that have a longer zipper?" I asked. A two inch zipper is just screaming popover. So the saleslady looked through all of their stacks and found some jeans with a 2 1/2 inch zipper. I was determined to get the free ticket so I took them into the dressing room and tried them on. That was when I developed a provable theorem. The length of the zipper in your jeans should be the sum of the number of children you have given birth to plus two. According to this theorem I need a 7 inch zipper. That is about right. There is a purpose for wearing mom jeans. They hold our stomachs in because we have lost that ability. I think American Eagle is just too cool for me.

But the fact remained that I only had one ticket and three family members who would want to go to a movie. So today I went to the Galleria Mall to another American Eagle. This time I looked through the stacks myself in case yesterday's saleslady was just trying to humiliate me. I might be able to understand why someone would want to buy jeans that are already ripped and frayed. But what I really don't get is why anyone would want to buy jeans that are strategically wrinkled and faded like they have been stretched over a really tight cameltoe for six months. That is the very look that I have tried to avoid all of my life. I remember my high school home-ec teacher would always stress how to create a good fit. She called the particular look being used on all American Eagle Jeans a crotch star and said it was the mark of horribly ill-fitting pants. The stretched over the crotch look was worse than wearing your pants too short. Fortunately, I did not have to model my new look for the sales people so they could verify that I had really tried on the jeans and looked as bad as they thought I might. The cashier handed me two tickets even though I did not buy the jeans. Mission accomplished.

So with three tickets we can go to a full priced movie! The only cost was my pride and dignity. Any suggestions? For the movie, that is. I already know I could lose ten pounds and get lipo and a tummy tuck to look better in those jeans.

3 comments:

Melanie said...

You are SO funny. I have no idea what is in theaters right now so I don't have a good suggestion for you. But I just can't get over the fact that you went in and tried on those jeans for movie tickets!

Fisher Family said...

Bonnie, you made me laugh so hard! I agree with you completly about the jeans! I'm glad you got your tickets because you earned them! And by the way I think you look great! Too bad "Errand of Angels" isn't playing there. I hope you see something you really enjoy!

Chris said...

Bonnie--no worries--you spent your last amount of pride and dignity many years ago. How else can you explain sleeping outside of a Best Buy all night?

About Me

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I am a stay at home mom but the clock is ticking. My husband and I only have one child left at home. I enjoy shopping and finding great bargains.